


Sixty Minute sans

by HeyHaiPotatoes



Category: Fallout 4, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ??? - Freeform, It's mostly undertale though, Other, Sorry f4, crossover??, idk - Freeform, not sorry???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 20:59:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5348333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeyHaiPotatoes/pseuds/HeyHaiPotatoes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the name of Toomanybees' work "Don't They Know, It's the End of the World?" (recommended)<br/>It took me sixty minutes to write this. I had a lot of fun during that sixty minutes.<br/>sans sings "Sixty Minute Man" by Billy Ward & The Dominoes.<br/>Enjoy.</p><p>2-14-16 WOW Thanks for the 1k hits! Happy Valentine's Day you nerds!!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sixty Minute sans

**Author's Note:**

> "Sixty Minute Man" - https://youtu.be/OpQuNY3XFI0

It was late. You were working a bar in Goodneighbor just as it was shuffling its last customers out of the door. A hooded figure approached the microphone.

 

 _On second thought_ , you mentally noted, _I might have to take that down_.

 

You took a couple steps towards the stage to stop the stranger from belting out a drunken tune when they threw their cloak into the air and wiggled out a ridiculously flamboyant pose. You could tell they put a lot of thought into dressing up tonight—a dark blue fitted tailored suit, with the polished shoes and crisp hat to go with it?—and whoever he was, you decided that he looked _well-dressed._

 

Your thoughts were interrupted by another hooded figure in the audience applauded and shrieked out cheers of “GO, BROTHER!!!” and “SING FOR THE HUMANS!!!”

 

You wondered how you ever missed serving _that_ guy.

 

Suddenly, you were surrounded in a blue light. “What the f-“ is all that you were able to get out before you were lifted and placed into a table near the front, directly behind where you were storming.

 

The stranger at the mic began to talk.

 

**“-Sit down and grab a cold one. It’s a quiet night in the Commonwealth.”**

Was…

 

**“-…the Brahmin are mooing…”**

W-was he a skeleton?!

 

**“-… the fallout is blooming…”**

You just sort of gaped as if you had never seen a ghoul before. _Must be some different kind of breed_.

 

**“-…and on days like these…”**

He kept grinning, staring directly at you.

 

**“-…humans like you…”**

You started gulping for air, preparing to be obliterated.

 

“-. . . _S_ **h** O u **L** _d_ . . .b **E**. . .”

 

You glanced over at the bar where you weapon was hidden. You should really keep something on you—

 

“-Dancing to this swell tune!” A cigar randomly appeared in the skeleton’s teeth as he carried the microphone stand like he would a woman. He leaned forward with it and posed suggestively before belting out a melodic tune with a deep, gravelly voice that _didn’t sound that bad_.

 

_“-Sixtyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-minute man… sixtyy-minute man-n-n-n…”_

 

Yeah, he really wasn’t that bad of a vocalist. You sat forward and let him continue… for now.

  
  
“-Look _a’_ here girls, I'm telling you n _o_ w…”

 

He gave you a wink and you instinctively arched your back.

  
“-They call me "L _ovin_ ' s _aaa_ ns~"”

 

A skeletal hand explored his body for your viewing pleasure. It piqued your interest.

  
“-I rock 'emm~ roll 'emm~ all night longgg,”

 

…and then began to make hip thrusting movements that went along with his held out notes…

  
“-I'm uh… _sixty-minute mannnn~”_

  
It was at this point that he relaxed his thrusting into gyrating slowly in tune with the rhythm of the song.

  
“- _And-uh-if_ you don't believe I' _mm_ all that I s _ayyy_ ~”

 

When he saw that you were looking directly at him, he rolled his cigar in his mouth with a… was that… a blue tongue?! He did it so quick you weren’t even sure you saw that correctly.

  
“-Come _up_ and take my ha~nd…”

 

His arm extended to you in sync with his gyration before snapping back to his side to hold the bottom of the microphone stand.

  
“-When I let you go, _you'll cry,_ " ** _Oh, yes~!_** "”

 

The skeleton teased the waist of his tailored pants to reveal a bit of pelvic bone before snapping his pants back into place to continue the rest of the verse.

  
"- _I’m_ the… _sixty-minute maaan~_ ”

 

Letting the last syllable purr longer than should be legally allowed in a public establishment, he gave you another wink before flipping to lean the other way.

  
“-There'll be _fif_ ~teen minutes of kissi _ng_ ~”

 

His voice begun to get really breathy… you wanted to see if he made those noises doing something else…

  
“-Then you'll holler, " ** _please, don't stop!_** "”

 

It was really cute how his eyes shut, and combined with the blue coloration on his cheeks? It just made you want him more.

  
“-There'll be _fif~_ teen minutes of teas _in_ ’…”

 

He tossed his hat to the side.

  
“-And _fif~_ teen minutes of squeez _in_ ’…”

 

His tailored jacket fell off next.

  
“-And _fif~_ teen minutes of blowing my top~! (Op-op-op!)”

 

Synchronizing his movements with the background singers that seemingly came from nowhere, he undid his tie. Slowly but surely, it appeared the skeleton was… stripping for you?  


“- _And-uh-if_ your man ain't treating you ri~ght…”

 

Tossing the tie to the side, his eyes opened again and were set on you.

  
“-Come up and see ol' s _aaa_ ns~”

 

You caught yourself sucking one of your fingers. You hoped it was clean.

  
“-I’ll rock 'e _mm_ ~ roll 'e _mm_ ~ all night lo _ng_ ~”

 

Going back to gyrating to the beat? O~K~

 

“-I'm _uh_ … sixty-minute m _aaaa_ n~”

 

You swore you saw a cyan light emit from his crotch, but it must’ve been your imagination. Just like the tongue thing.  


“- _Sixtyyyyyyy-minute maaaaan~_ ”

 

You’re sure it was the lighting. It’s not like he was trying to cover up the obvious _thing_ that was there.

  
“-They call m _e_ … L _ovin' sans~_ ”

 

With a swift movement that you almost didn’t catch, he undid his belt and let it drop to the floor of the stage.

  
“-I’ll rock 'e _mm_ ~ roll 'e _mm_ ~ all night lo _ng_ ~”

 

With every movement, you were sure that something was _g l o w i n g_.

  
“-I'm _uh_ … _sixtyyy-minute mannnnn~_ ”

 

He seemed to get caught up in the moment of the instrumental intermission. He aggressively swayed back and forth, his eyes tightly shut, his hot breath visible in the cool Massachusetts autumn air. You felt an arousal come from somewhere that involved your _boning_ based thoughts.

  
  
“-There'll be _fif~_ teen minutes of kiss _in_ ’~”

 

His voice dipped deeper on the last note of that particular line than it did before, which you thought he pulled off pretty well. He nuzzled the microphone with his… teeth… lovingly.

  
“-Then you'll holler, " ** _please, don't stop!_** "”

 

Subconsciously, you had been grinding the edge of the seat with your hips. You _weren’t_ sure you wanted to stop. He noticed.

  
“-There'll be _fif~_ teen minutes of teas _in’…_ ”

 

So he pulled down his fly. The light was almost blinding.

  
“-And _fif~_ teen minutes of squeez _in_ ’…”

 

And undid his pants. They weren’t hanging as loose as you thought they would be, given he’s a skeleton. They were probably being held up by the glowing mystery.

  
“-And _fif~_ teen minutes of blowing my top~! (Op-op-op!)”

 

This time, the buttons on his dry-cleaned button-up shirt flew off in directions unknown at dangerous velocities in his haste to get the damn thing off. Somehow, looking at the skeleton’s rib cage heightened your arousal even more.  


“- _And-uh-if_ yo _ur_ man ain't treatin’ you r _igh_ t…”

 

He brought one hand up into the shirt and successfully removed it over his head. You wanted him to do the same to you.

  
“-Come up and see ol' s _aa~a_ ns”

 

Again, his voice dropped an octave lower than it had to in the middle of his name. The intonations sent your sinful thoughts crawling on your back.

  
“-I’ll rock 'e _mm_ ~ roll 'e _mm_ ~ all night lo _ng_ ~”

 

Emphasizing that he was looking directly at you, he grinded against the microphone stand slowly. You knew you had to wipe it down later. After you were done with it.

  
“-I'm _uh… sixty-minute man~ ohhhh yeahhhhh~_ ”

 

His rib cage was growing and collapsing as if he was exerting a lot of effort. You knew most guys who tried this exact same routine needed a lot of breathing control to pull it off successfully. You decided you liked the skeleton’s performance the best.

  
_“-SIXxx~”_

He took a step towards the front of the stage.

_“-TYyy~”_

Another one onto the stairs down. You saw how hard he was breathing, how his eyes were filled with that _need_ you so wanted to _satiate_.

_“-MINnn~”_

He reached the table where you were still (flirtatiously) embarrassingly grinding your hips into the seat.

_“-UTEee~“_

He reached a hand towards you and placed it on your thigh...

_“-MANnnnn~”_

 

…before he fell face-forward, asleep, snoring as if he had slept through the entire thing.

 

You heard the applause of what you assumed to be his brother in the background. Turning around, you asked if he could take his brother home. Shaking your head at yourself, you wondered why you thought this was going to be any different from your other deviant discoveries. You left the bar unlocked that night. You didn’t really care. On your way out, the tape inside the jukebox broke and started playing like a broken record. You'll fix it in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed how this spikes in hits during the night. I know what all you dirty sinners are doing. /kinkshame


End file.
